On trying something new

My first semester MFA project explores the beauty of aging. Not how to look beautiful as we age, but how age itself creates a beauty that is deep and meaningful. And authentic. 

The beauty of age lies in the fact that our stories grow more complex as time goes on. We are wounded, we are sometimes traumatized; we hold loss and grief and anger. We have suffered illnesses or injuries; we have endured. Our natural resilience, and our ability to heal ourselves, is what fascinates and enthralls me. The scarring is Mother Nature’s tattooing. 

I have been working on ways of representing that scarring. And that healing.

My studio mentor suggested to me that I look at the work of Eva Hesse. I was familiar-ish with Hesse, having watched a documentary about her a while back. When I went back and rewatched the documentary, and then began reading the massive collection of Hesse’s diaries, the proverbial light bulb started to shine. 

Hesse said in an interview,

“I do think there is a state of quality that is necessary, but it is not based on correctness. It has to do with the quality of the piece itself and nothing to do with neatness or edges. It’s not the artisan quality of the work, but the integrity of the piece … I’m not conscious of materials as a beautiful essence … For me the great involvement is for a purpose – to arrive at an end – not that much of a thing in itself … I am interested in finding out through working on the piece some of the potential and not the preconceived … As you work, the piece itself can define or redefine the next step, or the next step combined with some vague idea … I want to allow myself to get involved in what is happening and what can happen and be completely free to let that go and change … I do, however, have a very strong feeling about honesty – and in the process, I like to be, it sounds corny, true to whatever I use, and use it in the least pretentious and most direct way … If the material is liquid, I don’t just leave it or pour it. I can control it, but I don’t really want to change it. I don’t want to add color or make it thicker or thinner. There isn’t a rule. I don’t want to keep any rules. That’s why my art might be so good, because I have no fear. I could take risks … My attitude toward art is most open. It is totally unconservative – just freedom and willingness to work. I really walk on the edge …”

And that just makes perfect sense. 

So I have started trying things and doing so without deliberation. I’ve stopped worrying so much about the size of the holes I am making with the upholstery needle. I have let go of the need for symmetry. Or neatness. I stick pins into the work and wrap thread around the pins in a random, intuitive way. I turn 2D into 3D. 

I tried working with vellum, creating a cover for the work, and I sewed into the vellum, as well. 

I have ideas for using liquid latex (perfect for my project since it deteriorates over time and disappears). I’m thinking about acetate and also about found objects. 

I don’t know how much, if any, of this work will end up in the first project presentation. 

What I do know, however, is that having ventured down into a deeper place with the work and having given myself the freedom to experiment (see also Play), I am hooked on finding new ways of expressing my ideas.